during my break at work i was standing next to the sign that says “designated smoking area.” sort of pacing around, sort of considering making a break for my car when from nowhere there comes this yelling

“hey?!! HEY KID!”

on top of the roof of the building -- let’s say yonder -- there was a man waving his hands around. At first I wasn’t sure if he came in peace, so I waved back sheepishly. the way you wave at someone when you’re not sure if they’re really waving at you; sort of hidden; sort of like apart of you is holding your full wave back. just in case it’s not a wave to you. wouldn’t want to wave for no reason.

“Kid!”

“Hiya mister!” i waved around the way he was waving at me. two hands, above the head, back and forth. the universal sign for distress, or complete happiness.

“you gotta help me out kid, the wind stole my fucking ladder!”

i jumped at the chance, and ran over trying not to make eye-contact. cause i’m like that. he asked what i did over in that building. i said “I answer phones. it fucking sucks,“ and it really does.

he laughed and said “what did you say?“

and I said “nevermind,“ and went to pick up the ladder the wrong way. holy ladder, fallen from roof, taken by the wind, with legs that break windows and teeth that make knuckles bleed. from the roof he told me how to pick the ladder up. something about rungs. then he called me a pro, all the while telling me how grateful he was. i kept saying “no problem” and he kept saying “no, really. thanks.” “it’s no problem man” “no, really thanks.” “no, it’s okay.” “no. i mean it. really. thanks.” “it’s cool.” “no, honestly, thanks.”

and then he asked to bum a cigarette. we each smoked a cigarette by the ladder and he asked me about the building i work in. “it’s ETS.”

“who are they?”

“They make the SATs and. um. stuff like that.”

he laughed a little “Is that where they keep the answers?”

“No, I don’t think the answers are there.”

“oh, so you couldn’t steal them?”

i laughed and said “no, I think they keep the answers for the SATs in the offices at princeston.”

he asked if i could steal the questioners and i said probably even though i didn’t really know what he meant by that. i asked him why he was on the roof, and he said he was fixing it. he said that the wind steals his ladder every now and then and sometimes he’s trapped on roofs for hours. have i said anything about how when he took off his gloves to smoke the cigarette he had sanitary gloves on his hands? i really wanted to ask him about that but i thought it would’ve been too weird. we finished our cigarettes talking about the wind. i told him his ladder is holy. i said “did you know your ladder is holy?”

i’m not sure why i did it. i’m not sorry. i just said it. there. hahaha. i said it, mostly because i believe it and partly because i wanted to see how he’d react to it. the other night i was calling a trashcan holy and an old woman called me a ridiculous boy, she said “keep on singing ridiculous boy and i’ll sing along with you.” i started laughing because i fell in love with her.

he didn’t say anything back, really. sort of nodded his head, maybe he was looking straight into my eyes. the sun was behind him so i couldn’t tell. we finished our cigarettes and said goodbye.